At 76, performance art legend, Ulay, has died in his home of Ljubljana. I had just finished the original draft of what would have been this article the night before Ulay was announced dead. I was writing to tell the story of the omnipotent relationship that took place between Ulay and Marina Abramovic, a love that produced some of the most recognized performance pieces in history. It only seems fitting that I continue to share the story of Ulay and Marina because although Ulay has left, the two had become one for a fleeting point in time and their journey together has touched the lives of many. This is not just a tribute to Ulay, this is a tribute to the magical work that he created and shared with Marina Abramovic.

When Ulay first met Marina, he was a free-spirited and fluid polaroid photographer living in Amsterdam and she, on the other hand, was already starting to create provocative performance art. After meeting it was only a matter of time before complete obsession took over. In 1976, the two had decided to live together in a Citroën van, where they continued to live for over 10 years, and merge their lives and their art. Ulay and Abramović believed that a singular idea conceptualized and executed by two people was much more powerful than one. This proved to be true as on their journey together, they forever marked the world as the mother and father of performance art.

In their constant quest to take the conflicts of humanity and showcase them at their extremes, Ulay and Abramovic's work was often tenuous and dangerous. This is shown in their ingenious piece “Rest Energy,” 1980. The striking performance depicts a total surrender of control on the part of Abramovich while she holds the bow attached to Ulay’s arrow, pointed at her heart. The two are in perfect balance, their body weight keeps the other from falling- however Ulay has the power to kill her in an instant. It was a performance about complete and total trust. This work was produced during the first 5 years of their relationship, when “oneness” was their top priority. The two never disclosed whose ideas were who's in order to respect the concept of them converting into one entity. Many more famous pieces that both Ulay and Abramović are known for were created during this time including “Relation in Time,” “AAA-AAA,” and “Talking about Similarity” where Ulay sewed his mouth shut.

The piece that marked the beginning of the end for the item was “Nightsea Crossing.” It was the first time that the two were not perfectly synchronized as Ulay could not match the endurance of Abramović. The task was to sit across from each other, when Ulay could no longer handle it, Abramović continued sitting. This is a fact that proclaims the artistic nature of the two, their very relationship became a work of art that could be metaphorized into a limitless amount of objects or actions. Ulay did not have the endurance to keep up with Abramović at the time, and she was not willing to wait- sound familiar? The force of fame had also taken a toll on Ulay as he was an introverted person who dedicated his life to art not for attention but for purpose. Abramović had felt as though fame was a natural effect of all of their hard work. This slow-growing division between the two is what eventually made it so that they knew it was time to let go.

The once perfectly harmonized pair decided to move on without each other in 1988. Their last performance as a couple, “The Lovers,” was the piece that marked their break-up. Abramović and Ulay stood on opposite ends of the Great Wall of China, 5,995 km apart, and began their long journeys to meet in the middle and say goodbye to each other. After 90 days of walking, the two embraced and parted ways. “The Lovers” was closely followed and watched by their supporters all over the world. The long journey to meet and then continue alone was symbolic of life and love. At the end of the day, lovers are only passing comets that are fleeting and temporary, we are all on our journeys alone, just as Ulay and Abramović had learned and taught us.

After the end of their 12-year union, both Ulay and Marina continued performance art and later dealt with legal battles over commissions from their work. It seemed as though the once flaming partnership had burned out, until their one-minute reunion 20 years later showed the world the tenderness that was leftover. In 2010, Abramović performed “The Artist is Present” at the MoMa. The performance consisted of her sitting across a random person and maintaining eye contact with them for one minute. Much to her surprise, upon opening her eyes she found herself sitting across Ulay after not communicating for 20 years. The piece is spectacular because you can witness, amongst the silence, true acceptance between these two individuals who had shared so much. It is a stunning moment that shows that time really does heal all and nothing at the same time; here they were, 35 years after they had first locked eyes looking at each other as they had before.

Artist Marina Abramovic was doing a live art performance that consisted of spending one minute of silence with a complete stranger. Many people showed up, bu...

It is rare that the world discovers a relationship as intense and passionate as Ulay and Abramović's. We are all lucky to be able to revisit the work that was created by the most pioneering and groundbreaking performance artists of all time. Ulay’s life was forever marked by his overcoming love for Marina and he will always be remembered as not only an artist but as a generous soul who was able to share his infinite self with the world and for a passing moment, Marina Abramović.

Ulay: The Man Who Shared

Rest in Peace Ulay (1943-2020)