Health and Wealth, Taking Care Of Yourself Amidst A Self-care Hoax

Although 2020 has finally ended, it has left us with a heavy burden to deal with and as cases are still rising it seems that normality has yet again been put on a hold forcing us to wait while days seem to pass by endlessly one after another. 

The first lockdown was taken almost positively as chance to reset and cleanse ourselves from the constant need of being productive, and all of us were lucky enough to have too much time on our hands, however it didn’t take long until waking up five minutes before class to sit in front of a computer became more tiring than getting ready and walk into class every day.

Self-care and wellness advice started popping up on our social media, telling us to invest in ourselves by adopting a skincare regime and eating only organic food, by learning a new skill or workout every day. Without us knowing, free time has been capitalized in tasks to accomplish daily in order to not feel like we are “slacking” and self-care has turned into an industry fueled by personalized marketing strategies targeting our insecurities in order to sell us healing crystals, essential oils, serums for issues we didn’t even know we had, and other products solely based on sensationalism.

Truth is, not even saying positive words of affirmation before bed every night will make all parts of your life fall into the right place just because a Tik Tok said so.

There’s no denying that there is some truth to the “look good, feel good” mentality, and one thing we should all learn from hustle culture is the “fake it ‘til you make it” mindset. However, how can this be applied to our inner well-being which needs to be the main object in our conquest of said self-care? The concept of wellness seems to have been exhausted in all its parts… or maybe, it has become exhausting in its endless performative acts.

“CARING FOR MYSELF IS NOT SELF-INDULGENCE, IT IS SELF-PRESERVATION, AND THAT IS AN ACT OF POLITICAL WARFARE”

— AUDRE LORDE IN A BURST OF LIGHT: ESSAYS

Self-care as a social movement started in the late 70s as a response to the lack of accessible health care for underprivileged groups, and it tackled both medical and political issues. As writer and civil rights activist Audre Lorde explains it, self-care was born as a way of survival in a society which enforced the idea that certain people don’t matter. In that political climate, self-care reaffirmed, healed, and fueled individuals to continue their work of rioting against oppressive systems and strengthening communities.

Today, a lot of said “self-care” is only accessible through self-funding– targeting groups of people that view it as an almost unaffordable luxury. This is due to the fact that we are surrounded by an imagery that is reliant on self-indulgent material items or self-care tips on how to deal with crippling anxiety, coming from unqualified people hiding behind pre-made Canva infographics. 

Emily Oberg, founder of Sporty & Rich, is a clear example of how blind one can be regarding their privilege while trying to promote a healthy lifestyle. If the elitism in her brand wasn’t clear enough from the name,  the founder of Sporty&Rich Wellness Club– also an Instagram mood-board page–sparked controversy earlier last year amidst the pandemic by comparing the prices of fresh food to unhealthy food, stating that “You don’t need to be rich to be healthy” while completely unfazed by the existence of food deserts or the lack of time to prepare food from scratch many need to face daily. 

This goes to show that Health is Wealth as much as Wealth is Health. 

The reason why brands like S&R thrive is not because of their products, but rather the sense of identity they provide to a specific target of people through the image they portray. This conformity becomes alarming when it comes from a place where we genuinely believe that we are individuals expressing ourselves. 

Truth is, we have allowed ourselves to be used as consumers, acting out of our innate desire to be identifiable by others even through something as personal as self-care, an act intended to be only for our own wellness and not displayed for others to see.  

So, what is self-care in its original meaning? Because let’s be clear, it does not mean drinking one more glass of wine on a weekday or binge-watching Netflix’s latest drama. Both of these activities are valid and definitely a fun distraction (not a solution!)  for momentary relief, but they don’t need to be justified as “self-care” in order to not let us feel guilty about it. 

“HERE IS HOW I SPEND MY DAYS NOW. I LIVE IN A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. I SLEEP IN A BEAUTIFUL BED. I EAT BEAUTIFUL FOOD. I GO FOR WALKS THROUGH BEAUTIFUL PLACES. I CARE FOR PEOPLE DEEPLY. AT NIGHT MY BED IS FULL OF LOVE, BECAUSE I ALONE AM IN IT. I CRY EASILY, FROM PAIN AND PLEASURE, AND I DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR THAT. IN THE MORNINGS I STEP OUTSIDE AND I’M THANKFUL FOR ANOTHER DAY. IT TOOK ME MANY YEARS TO ARRIVE AT SUCH A LIFE.”

— OTTESSA MOSHFEGH IN EILEEN

The concept of self-care isn’t a novelty. After all, how could you function properly as part of a collective when you’re out of tune with your own self? Self-care aims to balance the dissonance between mind and body so that they work in harmony, which means wellness comes from not only physical health, but most importantly mental health. 

Self-care often means things you don’t want or cannot bring yourself to do even if you know they are good for you in the long run, like moving your body, eating nutritious food, remembering about hygiene, allowing your mind to analyse itself in its ugly parts so to understand them and eventually heal them.

It is all about doing something to boost your mind and body when you’re in the depths of mental rut, but ultimately what self-care should do is to prevent yourself to go haywire in the first place.

As the sun in Milan has been setting before 6pm every evening, and temperatures don’t help with winter blues at all, remember to take good care of yourself and not get overwhelmed by the expectations you unconsciously set! Develop good habits that will help you on the long run because preventing unhappiness is more efficient than treating its symptoms.