Finding Your Personal Style (& Why It Matters)

If you’ve been following our publication for a while, you probably know that we do not write about style that often. You also probably didn’t think you’d read an article about it during a time where nobody wears anything but pyjamas and the occasional dress shirt paired with no pants so that you look presentable on Zoom calls. Surprised? Thought so. But I am here to make a case for experimentation as the key ingredient for finding your style. And what better time to experiment than when you’re stuck at home with nothing better to do and nobody to see the hideous outfits you come up with before you get it “right”? 

When it comes to my style, if you caught me on one of my good days and asked me to describe it, I’d say that I’m an elegant perfectionist that loves to look like she didn’t try at all; a bit easy, a bit lazy and a bit sensual. However, you can be sure of one thing, and that is that I’m not this nice to myself on a daily basis. Just like all of us, I have days that my full-to-the-brim closet looks empty, my favorite items look ugly and my body seems to not be flattered by anything I own. And that’s normal. It is often indicative of a period of change and transformation, or it is simply another bad day. Regardless of that, I can say that over the past year, my sense of style has certainly gotten much stronger, and I have grown to know myself a lot better through the journey of defining my taste and identity. I’ve come to believe that you can’t really “do your own thing” unless you know who you are. There is a very delicate kind of merger between your clothes and your personality, a give and take between who you are and what you’re wearing. Style really has to do with being able to perceive what is best for you; taking care to really analyse just the way something really looks. It’s about finding out what you like and feel good wearing and hanging on to it.

“But why does it matter?”, you might wonder. Well, fashion is actually a really distinctive part of all of our lives. Each of us, each day makes a decision about what we’re going to wear, both what it looks like and what we do with it. Your personal style is the image of yourself you choose to present to the world, and it is indicative of your personality, familiarity with pop culture and ability to piece a look together. And last time I checked, you don’t discuss a De Kooning as often as you get dressed to leave the house. Juliet Shore, a well-known social scientist, talks about fashion as being an essential element of being human. “We are one of the only species that can actually change our skin on a daily basis. We can actually use these ideas around materials to really connect us as social beings. And we know from the luxury fashion industry just how delightful it is to be able to wear something that makes you feel great. It's a piece of art on your body. It's got the skills of craftsmanship involved in it. And yet real beauty has to come through a deeper understanding. Finding your style means finding who you are and being faithful to that person”, she says in an interview for style bible Cheap Chic.

Unfortunately, people today want approval for the way they dress, which is the kiss of death. Our sense of individuality is a lot weaker, and our desire to be liked and accepted (especially on social media)  is at an all-time high. That is awful news for our style, since it means we are more inclined than ever to sacrifice our personal taste and wear whatever the influencers and celebrities we follow are wearing. And despite our exposure to visual stimulation being at its maximum, in contrast to what some might expect, this has not done us any favours when it comes to the cultivation of a distinct, personal taste and visual language. So instead of having become a generation characterised by what is known as  “bon goût”, we have become a generation of individuals incapable of distinguishing what they truly like from what Instagram and other social media platforms have told them to like. So how do you break the chain and discover your personal style? Sit tight and read below. 

Don’t be afraid  to experiment 

Experimentation is a huge part of figuring out what you like and don’t like, but also what suits you and what doesn’t. Oftentimes things might look good on your Pinterest reference photo but end up looking a little less so when we try to recreate them, and that’s fine. Whoever said  “you have to get it wrong before you get it right” knew what he was talking about. In order to find out what it is that you feel good wearing, you have to try wearing a bunch of different things. Inspiration is everywhere around you; from friends to travels, books, and icons, you can get ideas from practically everyone and everything. So take your phone out, go on your notes and start a file where you write down outfit ideas or details whenever they come to you. And then try them out! This will not only save you at times when you’re out of inspiration, but it will also give you the opportunity to try out styles, combinations, and ideas that at some point in time seemed appealing and you might have completely forgotten about otherwise.

Build a good collection of basics

I wholeheartedly believe in basics. Not just any basics though, they have to be basics that fit well. Jeans that mold on your body, and well-made staples with no “fashion” that last many years without transformation. Nothing can compare to a good pair of denim, especially a vintage one. Once you find a brand of jeans that fits you the way you like to be fit, stick with it. Another key basic that will make or break your closet? T-shirts. A t-shirt in different colors, prints, fits can get you through all seasons. Once you have a few in your drawer, you’ll understand the magic. Having a good collection of basics means peace of mind. Basic colors, good cuts, and nice quality can never disappoint you, and you are sure to never look bad. And the times you will look at your closet feeling helpless and convinced that there is nothing in there for you to wear will significantly decrease.

Throw your money in your shoes and accessories

If you have a solid collection of basics, you are sure to look good but you are also sure to look anonymous in your quiet style. And that is okay. But if you want to make your look slightly more individual, accessories are the way to go. Nothing upgrades an outfit the way accessories do. The right bag, belt, sunglasses or jewelry can truly alter an outfit. And the right shoe can make your look take off. Shoes should be your investment. They are some of the most important things you can have in your closet. Some of the people I consider my style icons — at the moment — have an incredible ability of accessorizing their outfits to perfection. From Man Repeller’s own Leandra Medine to Reese Blutstein (@doubl3xporuse) and to Alexa Chung, they are all masters of the art of the bag and shoe.

Buy multiple versions of the things you know you like and will wear

I am not a fantastic example of this, but my ex is. He managed to crack the code to the perfect outfit — for him— by finding the items that are key to his personal style, and then he made sure to own several of them. His collection of t-shirts and fleeces, combined with a good collection of well-fitted basics, gives him enough options to build great outfits every day, and never look like he wore the same thing twice. It’s almost like creating a uniform. Your uniform. So, once you find your favorite colors, favorite fit, or your favorite style of something, buy many of it. And don’t forget to use sales to your advantage when doing so. 

Spend your money sparingly but buy things that will last

Your clothing shouldn’t be self-conscious, it should be one with you, your body, your identity. Once you find your staples, there will be no room for mistakes. And to get there you really don’t need much clothing, you just need the right clothing. Now listen, the last thing I’m here to do is tell people to overspend and become victims of consumerism (although shopping fashion is arguably consumerist by nature) by buying into floppy trends. But sometimes I believe that throwing your money on a few key items saves you a lot in the long-run. You’re always going to make the most of your money by buying something that makes you feel fantastic and that you will wear to death and paying absolutely rock bottom for the cheap things that you can get away with buying second-hand. If you’re like me, you might spend your last money on a blazer and then ride the rest of the month in poverty. Although I do not condone that behavior, I do believe that some investments are worth making. There are some things that you shouldn’t fudge no matter how cheaply you dress: the very best boots, a classic sneaker, a sturdy bag, and a glorious jacket. If you look closely at someone with a strong individual style, you will discover there is almost certainly something in their outfit that costs a lot. Draw the line at quality; don’t skimp on the classics. 

Whatever you wear, wear it with confidence

“Everyone needs their own signature look. Even if it’s ripped off from your favorite character from a film you like, or it’s just wearing the same coat you love till you wear it out completely, a favorite repetitive color or a style from another era, perhaps a person you’ve read about, fiction or non-fiction, real or not has inspired you. The point is, we all need to find that special way of dressing ourselves that makes us feel like the main character of our own private novel.” To have style you need to have individuality and trust yourself. It’s not about beauty, it’s about the character, the uniqueness and the confidence. I think beautiful women are so because of what they exude from the inside. They have a sense of themselves, humor, confidence and certainty about who they are. If you feel confident in what you’re wearing and carry yourself with charm, and certainty, you do not need anything else. As Yves Saint Laurent once said: “A woman can feel sexy in a chemise, and she can feel sexy in jeans. It depends on the person. If she thinks she isn’t sexy, she will not be sexy”. The real way to dress for success is to feel it from the inside. Express your own style and express your individuality with confidence.

Dressing sustainable is hot!

With the sustainability wave constantly growing in popularity, more and more sustainable brands are being founded, and many already existing ones are catching up, in fear of becoming obsolete. Noah, Patagonia, Ganni, Collina Strada, Carcel, Staatsballett, and Veja are only a few of the many options available out there for shoppers searching for eco-friendly clothing to satisfy their indulgences. And if those brands are a bit out of your budget, you can always follow the simple rule of wearing fabrics made from natural fibers, like cotton, wool, and silk and not wearing polyesters and other synthetics. Additionally, you can always shop vintage and second-hand and tailor your purchases to make them look perfect on you. And if you’re looking to expand the life-cycle of your items, try getting informed on how to properly care for your clothing. If you invest in items you love, you will want to make them last for as long as you can. And in order to do that, you need to learn how to wash them, how often to do it and what products to use when doing it to ensure maximum lifespan. And not to mention repairing. If you’re not capable of doing it yourself, paying a small amount to get something fixed is definitely worth it. If you live in London, give The Restory a visit. They will find a way to fix anything you bring to them. 

A small yet well-curated closet goes a long way

My closet is quite full, and I do have to say that I am guilty of owning more than I need, but I do make sure to always only own items I love; special, contemporary items that are also somewhat timeless. That doesn’t mean I don’t indulge myself in a trendy piece once in a while, but I can say that as my style has matured, I’ve needed those less and less since I’ve found myself not needing to jump on every trend on sight. Obviously, if an amusing thing happens, I’ll give it a try. But I do try to maintain some logic and continuity in my closet. When I say somebody dresses well I mean cohesively. Things must have a direction, a continuity. I believe that having a good sense of style does not require a big closet. It requires a selection of clothing that is characterised by a sense of quality and refinement, a good blend of new and vintage, and a solid mix between classic yet modern.

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