If You Are Feeling Unproductive, Read This

Illustration by @muchcoffeeman via The New Yorker Magazine

Illustration by @muchcoffeeman via The New Yorker Magazine

Just like many other people, as soon as I found out that I had to quarantine and complete my semester online, I had a teeny tiny breakdown. But I shook it off and decided I was going to make the best of the situation. So, I made a mental list of all the goals that I wanted to accomplish by the time I went back to “normality”. Not only did I decide I wanted to learn how to speak two languages perfectly, but I also wanted to do a 6-week-long graphic design course, as well as get an internship for the summer and/or fall. Additionally, I set the goal of working out for at least one hour a day, because I figured this was the perfect time to get a six-pack. Keep in mind, I also have six exams that I have to study for, and three of them have the ability to make me cry like a baby as soon as I think of them. But I was determined to seize this opportunity and be productive.

 A couple of weeks went by, and one day I realised I had not accomplished any of the things that were on that list. So far, my biggest achievement was making that trendy whipped coffee that is all over the internet. And it didn’t even taste good. Suddenly I felt so useless, and like I was not on top of my game, unlike everyone else seemed to be. And the fact that I didn’t get accepted to my dream internship, because of the pandemic, made me feel even worse. Funnily enough, going on LinkedIn started to feel like going on Instagram. You know how people tell you to take a break from social media because you want to avoid having unrealistic expectations about yourself? Well, that happened to me with LinkedIn. As lame as it sounds, I started fantasising about what it would feel like to be, well, not rejected. I could not log in without comparing myself to everyone else’s success. I did not understand how people were managing to get their life together, meanwhile, the only thing I was doing was compiling rejection emails on my inbox. I felt that everyone was moving forward, while I was only moving backwards. I felt that I was not being productive enough.

Illustration by @lila__ash via The New Yorker Magazine

Illustration by @lila__ash via The New Yorker Magazine

It wasn’t until I actually took the time to analyse the entire situation, that I realised how blind I was being. First of all, of course, companies were not going to hire me right now. Their main priority is surviving the pandemic, not hiring a 20-year-old to bring them coffee every hour. Second of all, I was putting too much on my plate too fast. And the reason why I was doing this? Because I fell in the trap that we all fall in at some point in our life. A trap known as “hustle culture”.

Hustle Culture is a movement that has been very influential in the past decade, among Millennials and Gen Z. It is a movement that is obsessed with ambition, striving, and working hard 24/7 in order to make your life meaningful. Recently, a lot of people have been referring to this movement as “burnout culture”, because, in a way, it makes us think that if we don’t work hard every day, we are nobodies. And this is exactly what happened to me. Now, I am not saying that I turned into one of those people that say rise and grind when they wake up, and that like to refer to food as “brain fuel”. Nor that I bought myself one of those self-help books that promise you will be a billionaire in five years if you follow their advice. The ones that usually include in the cover a comment like “Over five million people bought this book”, just to remind you that you are the only lazy person that didn’t. Anyway, what I mean is that I was blinded by the idea of working harder, and not smarter. And so, I decided to make a change.

Illustration by @maddiedai via The New Yorker Magazine

Illustration by @maddiedai via The New Yorker Magazine

To begin with, I wrote down all of the tasks that I had to do by the end of this quarantine. In my case, it was to study for all of my exams, because I really did not feel like retaking Statistics and Accounting again. Then, I slowly started to incorporate small changes into my routine, which would help me achieve the goals that I had set myself before. For example, I love listening to podcasts while I’m getting ready for the day, and they are usually related to art, fashion, or any other creative industry. However, I try to make sure that the podcast is in either Italian or French. It is not easy, and I do struggle while I try to comprehend what they are saying, but it does not feel like a burden anymore, because by doing something that I enjoy, I’m also learning. Another thing that I’ve been doing, is trying to work out at least three times a week. It is not that much, but it is a realistic goal that is most likely to be met in comparison to the previous one. And it feels so good once I do it!

The reason why I wanted to write about this, is because I know what it feels like when everyone else seems to be thriving but you. However, during times like this, we need to give ourselves a break. We need to remind ourselves that the reason why we have all of this free time, is because the world is going through a big change right now. And the fact that our main concern is how productive we are being on a daily basis, already shows how lucky and privileged we are. It is great to set goals that will help you improve who you are, either physically or mentally, but you don’t have to put yourself down if you don’t meet these goals right away. Maybe you are making the same mistake that I made, and you are being too harsh on yourself. That’s why you should remind yourself every day to take things easy and do things that you want to do because you enjoy them. Prioritise being nice to yourself and make sure to stay safe!

 And remember, this is a pandemic. Not a productivity contest.